In a world of superpowers, here is one, that is a must-have. Yet, in reality, this skill Resilience is not a superpower in itself; instead, it is an ordinary skill, ordinary because it is relatively easy to acquire. The magic in Resilience is that it gives the person who has it, a superpower; the power to convert loss into gain. How to become mentally resilient in Surrey?
So how then do we define becoming mentally Resilient?
Resilience is what helps the refugee survive and triumph over that long run of tragedy and loss; it’s what helps a victim of child abuse become a survivor; it’s what gets the single mom through endless days of insufficient money, illness and more.
Simply put Resilience is the process, the ability to adapt, to cope with change, with adversity, and negativity. Being resilient means is what helps you recover from trauma and other stressors. Resilience plays a dual role. It is both a shock absorber and a converter. It prevents you from breaking down, and it helps you rebuild.
Resilience is not a static force. Instead, it’s a process. The more you feed it, the more its capacity will grow. Resilience is a journey of personal growth. It involves acquiring new and accurate information, positive thoughts, and learning new behaviours and skills.
It is important to remember that Resilience is not a magic potion. It does not prevent bad things from happening to you. It does not guarantee a life free of stress. What it does give you is the power to cope, to rise from the ashes, to reinvent yourself. The more resilient you become, the better you can deal with difficulty, and the more empowered you are to keep growing and evolving as a person.
This concept of defining Resilience can be summed up in an age-old, much used saying “it’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture.
Building emotional Resilience
Have you ever tried to lose weight? Build muscle? Learn how to cycle? Building emotional Resilience is much the same. First, you have to commit to it, then you have to focus on it, and then you have to work at it. And like everything else, learning to be resilient takes time and effort. It is a long, slow, sometimes painful process.
There are many ways to do this, and the internet is full of steps, lists, and blogs like this one, telling you how to do it. Since we are all in this together, and you are here, let me give you a few strategies to help you build Resilience.
Accept the situation as it is…mentally resilient can be achieved
So you got laid off from work. You think it was partially your fault, or maybe it wasn’t at all. Don’t let yourself get so miserable you end up wallowing and doing nothing. You might not be able to change the situation – you might not be able to get your old job back, and your self-confidence has taken a hit – accept that. Acceptance is half the battle won. It does not, however, mean, you sit and do nothing.
Find purpose in your life
Yes, you find a new purpose. You think about getting a new job. You learn a new skill, job-related, or just something you have wanted to do and finally have the time for – public speaking, baking, programming.
Get involved in a charity that appeals to you, reaching out and helping someone, helps them, and you.
Focus on self-care
Health is more than freedom from illness. How to be resilient is not just about resisting stress. It is about being able to win over situations that have been traumatic for you. To do that, you need to make your health – mental and physical, your topmost priority. Maintain a healthy lifestyle – diet and exercise. Resist acquiring negative ways of coping – alcohol, binge eating, retail therapy etc. Focus on spiritual growth – through scripture reading, yoga and meditation. Find a practice that you are most comfortable with.
You don’t have to do it alone, build your network
Look to connect with people who are empathetic, and positive and able to build you up. It can be from within your immediate circle, or from your larger circle of acquaintances. Join a group. It can be a support group, or a group doing something that appeals to you – a book club, a trekking group, a dance class. The more connections you build, the less isolated you are. You get exposed to new ways of approaching situations, and you learn new skills. You develop your ability to adapt, and your self-confidence increases.
Learn more about my Stress Resilience coaching can help you focus on your selfcare, build emotional resilience and find purpose in your life.
Let me leave you with a final thought – the more you grow yourself, the more your confidence in yourself increases, and you will become mentally Resilient. The more you start to believe in your ability to survive, the more resilient you become. Get in touch to work on yourself to build resilience.